in the aftermath. xx

Tommy rested his head on his knuckles, absently staring at the screen in front of him. He was working at something in Excel for awhile, actually trying to get some work done today so he wouldn’t be fired, when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He glanced around to make sure none of his stick-up-the-ass co-workers were peering in or hanging out by the water cooler so conveniently placed right outside his drab cubicle. Thankfully, none were. He looked down at his phone screen and couldn’t help but choke back a tear. It was Cam texting him letting him know she was really sorry about him being fired from the band. He prepared to shoot back a snide ‘Aren’t you?’ but stopped himself. He decided to just thank her and turn his phone off. It was nearly five o’clock anyway. He’d just go home, get shit faced alone in a club and wish it were Friday so he could bring a pretty girl home and fuck her into the mattress. Or whatever surface they happened to be on.

He entered a few meaningless numbers into the spreadsheet before he could start hearing the clatter of his co-workers leaving. He gathered up his things, clocked out and made his way to his car. He drove the clunker in and out of traffic and being the aggressive driver he is, he was home in twenty minutes. Dumping his briefcase on the couch, he made his way to the fridge and opened up a beer in a matter of seconds. He crashed on his recliner and flipped through the channels. He took a double take as he went past Fuse and saw him and the band in the Whataya Want From Me video. The quick flutter of happiness was quickly forgotten when he remembered the letter he’d received from the record label saying they couldn’t “support” him anymore. When he told Adam, Adam acted shocked and angry but Tommy knew deep down that the singer had known. He had felt betrayed until Adam had come over to his apartment and calmed him down. Apparently it wasn’t in Adam’s control.
He downed the bottle of beer and kept surfing the channels until he landed on some movie he hadn’t seen before. His phone went off a couple of times but he didn’t answer. He didn’t want people’s sympathy. He’d deal with it his own way- with lots of alcohol and sex. The night stayed this way and when it was around midnight he finally shut off the TV and passed out. The only difference between this and being on tour was he wasn’t on a bus. Maybe this wasn’t so bad.

When he woke up the next morning to the sunlight filtering through his blinds, he couldn’t move. He was so paralyzed with the throbbing in his head he didn’t realize he had only thirty minutes to get ready and be at work. Checking the glowing clock above the TV, he shot up from his chair and made himself vomit as much of the alcohol into the toilet as he could. Making coffee and brushing his teeth and putting on his slacks at the same time, he was out the door in ten minutes. If the traffic wasn’t too bad today, he could get to his hellish job on time and maybe keep it a week longer. He parked and ran up to the office door trying to compose himself. He clocked in and made his way to his desk, averting his sensitized eyes from the fluorescent lights. His head still ached but with nowhere near the intensity it had when he’d woken up. Digging in his stash of breath mints, he prepared himself for the upcoming day. He had eight hours and fifty minutes left until he could go home.
He finished some shit up, sent it in and left for the break room. He had an hour for lunch, the only perk of his job. Grabbing the salad marked ‘Thomas Ratliff’ in the fridge, he sat down in a far off table alone. A bitter grin played at his lips as he thought back to his similar experience in middle school. He didn’t glance up from a magazine when the door slammed shut. Probably just the last of the last lunch leaving. Only when he looked up did he realize he was the only one left in the room besides a tall, dark haired man. The familiar scent of Dior Homme washed over him and he felt himself moving towards the man without even realizing where he was going. Before he knew it, the man had embraced him and was chuckling a familiar, tinkling laugh close to his ear.

“Look at you!” Adam finally said, holding Tommy by the shoulders at arm’s length. Tommy glanced down, trying to force the blush creeping up towards his cheeks.
“Yeah, I’m not any different. You’re the one who looks like a fuckin’ rockstar and you’re in an office building. Oh, wait.” He added bitterly, not making eye contact.
“Look, Tommy,” Adam tensed up and sounded distant. “It wasn’t my decision, and they told me after they told you. I was screaming and yelling...” he trailed off, visibly hurt.
“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean it like that…” Tommy whispered. He was screaming at himself on the inside. He didn’t want Adam to feel guilty, especially when he didn’t do anything. Like a sweetheart, he showed up at his job without any warning to join him for lunch. “Um, why did you come here?” he said, trying to change the subject.
“Did you not get my texts? I called you, like, three times but you weren’t answering.” Adam said too cheerfully for what had just happened. Tommy followed him back to the table in a daze as Adam poked around in Tommy’s salad. “Yuck, you like olives?”
Tommy wasn’t sure what to say. He’d ignored his phone all yesterday since Cam texted him. “What did you wanna talk to me about?” he asked, taking his fork from Adam’s ring-adorned fingers and taking a bite of an olive.
“Dunno, I just missed you.” Adam said. Tommy tried to hide his blush with his blonde hair to no avail. Why was he getting this giddy feeling in his stomach?
“Oh. I’ve missed you too.” Tommy answered, looking straight into Adam’s eyes. They were so honest and open. Just like Adam.
“Everyone does too. We haven’t done any performances lately, it’s been slow since the tour ended. Kinda staying out of the public eye, y’know?” Adam took the fork back from Tommy and brought a piece of lettuce to his mouth, so blatantly flirting. This wasn’t the first time they’d done this in public. And some fans thought Tommy was 100% straight.
“Yeah, I get it. It’s been slow for me too. I got the job after they told me about – you know – and it’d been pretty boring since. I’m surprised they haven’t fired me yet.” He grinned. Something about being with Adam made him feel no matter how deep of shit he got into, it’d all be okay in the end. His fingers thrummed against the table to the beat of Aftermath. In the weird way he had, Adam recognized it and began singing quietly along.
“Gonna tell ya you’ll be alright in the aftermath. Any time anybody pulls you down, any time anybody says you’re not allowed, just remember you are not alone…”

At the very moment, with everything that had happened in the last six months, Tommy had the overwhelming urge to lean over and kiss Adam full on the lips. He would of if they weren’t at his work and the blinds were wide open for the whole office to see. Adam suddenly got up from his seat and even though he hadn’t touched him since he hugged him earlier, Tommy’s body felt colder as if he’d lost a vital piece of himself. “Leaving so soon?” Tommy said, trying to make as much pain as possible evident in his voice. There was a click of a lock and the room suddenly got a lot darker. The only light was the one emanating from the clock on the microwave. He looked up, brown eyes wider than a deer in headlights as he could see Adam’s figure make his way over to him.

There was a flashing second where he felt his body be shoved up against the wall and soft lips slamming into his. He couldn’t even react before Adam’s tongue was asking for entrance. Adam had that crazy way of just knowing what the people around him needed and at the moment, all Tommy wanted was this. His hands were stuck pressed against Adam’s chest curled up in surprised fists. He let them uncurl, wanting as much of him to be touching the singer as possible right now. Adam moaned when Tommy broke free from the kiss and began sucking on his neck.

“More, more, more…” Adam breathed out when the bassist tugged the neck of Adam’s shirt away to leave sloppy kisses on the taller man’s shoulder. Normally Tommy would be concerned that someone would walk in on them, but Adam had somehow locked the door. He let Adam take control again. He sucked and nipped at Tommy’s lower lip, the slight taste of salad dressing in his breath. Because vinaigrette was not a turn-on for Tommy, he popped out a breath mint from his pocket and slipped it into Adam’s mouth.
“Sorry, but your breath smells like dressing.” Tommy laughed. Adam actually blushed and quickly chewed on the mint as Tommy was necking him, letting his hands roam underneath Adam’s shirt. Adam must have finished because Tommy felt a tugging on his scalp as his head was brought back to Adam’s mouth. The younger man’s erection was rubbing against Tommy’s own. “Oh my god, fuck me already.” Tommy hissed when Adam tugged at his nipple though the fabric of his shirt.

“As you say.” Adam grinned, undoing Tommy’s belt buckle. Tommy only tore away from Adam’s mouth to lift their shirts over each other’s heads. Before long they were wearing nothing but their shoes (Tommy, after all, did have to return to work), hands roaming all over. Adam made the first move, grabbing Tommy’s already hard cock and stroking. Tommy moaned into Adam’s shoulder, hand clenched around a fistful of black and blue hair. “So beautiful, glitterbaby.” Adam whispered, his voice heavy with lust. He flipped Tommy over so he was facing the gray wall. Tommy turned his head around, watching Adam spread his ass and slipping a finger inside of him in the low light. It hurt like hell.

“Please… go slow…” he whined, clenching his mouth. Adam peppered light kisses along his jawline, shushing him, telling him he’d make it good for him. Tommy trusted him. He certainly hadn’t expected his first time with Adam – hell, with a man – would be up against a wall in his workplace. He felt Adam’s hand close around his dick, gently stroking as he slid another finger in. It took everything in Adam not to thrust into his ex-bassist’s tight ass but he knew that he’d never be able to live with himself if he hurt the smaller man. He was too fragile. Tommy leaned back, bittersweet memories of the first time he performed Fever in Wilkes-Barre seared in Adam’s mind, licking around Adam’s lips. He pumped his fingers into Tommy’s ass harder and faster, adding a third without any sort of warning. He stretched and scissored Tommy open, panting heavily. The pain still overpowered the pleasure but from what his friends had told him, it was so worth it. So he ignored it and tried to focus on the fact that Adam fucking Lambert was about to fuck him in public. He nearly came from just the thought.

“I didn’t bring a condom, but I’m clean.” Adam said suddenly, fingers still curling deep inside Tommy. He couldn’t help but feel nervous, Adam was pretty big for losing his ass virginity to. Tommy only nodded in acknowledgement, too deep in lust and pleasure to function properly. He couldn’t filter the gasps and whines coming out of his mouth. Adam pulled his fingers out of Tommy (only now he realized Adam was enough of a gentleman to remove most of his rings). The empty feeling only lasted a couple seconds when suddenly the blunt, slick head of Adam’s cock pushed at Tommy’s entrance. Ever so slowly, Adam pushed further and further in, letting Tommy adjust to his size. Adam finally was pushed in to the hilt, distracting himself by leaving soft kisses along Tommy’s slim shoulders. Meanwhile, Tommy felt like he was being torn in two. It hurt so bad, he knew he’d be walking funny for the next few days, but it felt so fucking good.

“Uhhhh… fuck!” Tommy whined through the haze. This was Adam’s cue to start thrusting in and out. He went slow and shallow at first, sweet little thrusts into Tommy’s ass. He bit Tommy’s shoulder, probably more aware of their surroundings than the blond who was spread all over the wall, one arm clutching the side of the counter, the other tangled in Adam’s hair. A devilish smirk graced Adam’s red and puffy lips as he flipped Tommy over and down onto the countertop so he could kiss the bassist’s pretty little mouth as his fucked into him. Tommy was moaning uncontrollably, something had clicked and all of the sudden it felt too fucking good.
Adam finally started picking up speed and Tommy was now thrusting back into him, trying to get as much of Adam’s dick inside him as humanly possible. They were both coming undone. The co-workers were probably wondering what the hell was going on. Tommy had no idea where the hell his phone was or what the hell a phone even was anymore he was so far lost in lust. Adam’s tongue was fucking Tommy’s mouth, muting the sounds he was screaming out. “So fucking pretty spread out on the counter. They can hear us; they can hear us fucking right now.” Adam whispered in Tommy’s ear through gritted teeth making Tommy cry out in ecstasy. “That turns you on, doesn’t it? You little slut.”

The noises coming from Tommy’s mouth were sending Adam over the edge, his rhythm becoming irregular, thrusting in and out faster than he knew he could. He hit that sweet spot inside of Tommy because the slurs of dirty words coming from his tiny mouth were suddenly interrupted with Adam’s name spilled out. Adam jerked him through his orgasm, strips of cum all over his hand and Tommy’s stomach. Before he knew it, Adam was coming inside of Tommy, moaning and gasping. He saw stars for a second as he toppled on Tommy, cum everywhere. The bassist licked at the corners of Adam’s mouth as the singer came down from his orgasm.
“You didn’t call my name,” Tommy whispered teasingly after a long silence filled with their heavy, labored breaths.
“Tommy,” Adam grinned, kissing Tommy until they were out of breath.
“I wish we could just stay like this forever. I don’t want to ever leave.” Tommy said blissfully, tugging on Adam’s hair.
“We could, you know.” Adam sucked at Tommy’s piercings, lazily tracing the familiar pattern of his Depeche Mode tattoo.
“Maybe just a little while longer.” Tommy answered quietly with his heart fluttering in his chest.